Between You and I

You created me and even in my mother’s womb, You knew me by my name
You stayed with me; you sustained the life in an unborn child
Laughter and joy mingled with tears was the morning I was born
A day no one will forget full of sunshine, full of life.
You wrapped me in your arms and gently rocked me to sleep
You see, I was yours the moment I had life out of my mother’s body
You were a father, a friend, a guide, a comfort
You are everything
From the circle of the earth you taught me where you sat enthroned
I learned to love you, respect you, adore you
My heart clung to your every word and I never let go
I hid in the folds of your grace
You kept my thoughts and my tears before you
I burst like a dam, I soared as an eagle
You were my rear guard
My constant, always friend in everyway

I love You Lord, I know I do
Whether mountains high or valleys low
It is your love that keeps the blood pumping in my heart
It is your compassion that gives breathe to my lungs
It is your understanding that puts the smile on my face

I love You Lord, You know I do
When the rain drops seize and the sun shines through
It is your life that was ransomed for mine
It is your peace that was traded for my chastisement
It is your sacrifice that redeemed me forever

I love You Lord, how else can I survive.

Order these steps of mine

Dear Father,

I am sorry for earlier. You are not the reason why I don't feel good. You didn't bring it on me, if anything You are the One who can help. Who will lift me up. And I am sorry!

I am sorry that i try to carry the weight of my pain on my shoulders
I am sorry that i don't know how to come to You to lift it off
I am sorry that i gave up on me because in that i also gave up on You, the Almighty
I am sorry that i am lost and don't know how to ask You for directions
I am sorry that i have no faith to believe in what i hope for, Who You are
I am just so sorry, i am not the person that i should be.......that i could be!

This is not a poem or my attempts at getting words to rhyme, I do honestly feel empty. I know all the tricks to creating my sunshine and like i said before i can do it but somewhere deep inside, i know its not enough. It was never enough!

I am empty and yet, i still can't ask You in. I just can't do it Father. Because, i am afriad that i will only dissapoint You again.

And i will be dissapointed too!

Forgive me but this is how it will be. I will shake it off. This feeling. Like a million times before now, i will rise up from this hollow debris and smile again because it is in me. I will be fine again because this emptiness will pass like it always does and the sun will shine again.

I am sorry Father that i can't open up to You!

But please order my steps. That is all i ask for. That You may order my steps and the paths before me and somehow lead me to the place i need to be to find You and perhaps find myself.

But whatever happens, don't let me go. Don't let me out of Your sight.

I am so sorry. Forgive me.

But Please Order these steps of mine.

Thank you

Dear Father,

I think i am human!

Please, what does that mean?

Empty

Dear Father,

How are you doing? I guess it's customary to ask. Espeacially for me because most times i just want to get into what it is i have to say!

Well, i am not doing too great today. Yes i know that i should know better and i actually know better but here i am this way when there should be no buts!

I kept thinking how empty i feel today, yes i am not on any projects right now and it can get really tiring and be a real spirit breaker but is that not another excuse?

Why do i feel empty? Do i feel something is lacking in my life? Because something will always be "lacking" - I can't have it all, no one can. I know the secret is in ...................what is the secret? What do i know?

What do You expect of me, Father? Who am i really? I know i stopped trying very hard and just lived my life as best and as happy as i could without so much effort at faith. It took too much out of me and i couldn't do it anymore.

Why do tears feel my eyes today? Why don't i feel good? Is it because i want to because trust me, I can switch to sunshine mood right this momment and You know i can.

I am not making any sense, not even to myself so i will stop here.

Checking in

Dear Father,

How did Your day go today? Don't mind me, i just like to ask that question!

My day was fine. Nothing dramatic just same ole! I just wanted to check in with you today and let You know that i am doing good and like i always say...........even getting better.

I kept the smile and tried not to aggravate my friends at work today (You know how i like to joke about the place)

I do not think a good life consists of silver and gold alone so i hope someone was better today for my presence in his/her space. Yes i definitely hope so!

So what did You get up to? Saving lives, healing people, Lifting spirits, restoring hope, ...............? You must have had all the fun today? Doing what You love to do best. Loving us. Each and everyone of us! And You know, You do it best of all. Because You are You and that nothing changes You.

There is something i would like to tell You, something i think You should know......................"this is the best part of my day; When i talk to You, when i write like this, because something beautiful like a well of treasures, bursts from it's depth to the open transforming me to this person that is so much better than i am! Because here,You move my heart with words much more than i am and teach me to understand that my life is worth much more than i know or think it is. It is here i feel most alive and can truly believe. Because here, is who i truly am!"

Thank you father

My gift, My song

I woke up to a ray of light seeping through the curtains
I woke up to a new day
Thank You Father

For the sun that rises in the morning
For the sounds of rain against my window
For the sky so clear above me
Thank you Father

It must have been you that put the song in my heart today. With the melody and the beats to go with it.

Maybe You had heard the words before but still You wanted me to sing it on a new day, in a new way

So here is my song, I have nothing to give to You today, but please accept it as my gift for Your gift of today

It cannot compare to Yours but thank You all the same, because You don't ask for much

So when my heart questions; Why do You love me, when i am just one person amongst a billion persons? And why do You care for this girl in a world full of people! Afterall, what is the value of a grain of sand along the sea shore and of what use is a drop of water in the midst of an ocean?

But i will remember my song and sing these words

You are the Lord, that is Your name
You are so Holy, and that is who You are
You gave Your own to me, All that You are
And perhaps, that is all i need to know
Thats all i need to know

Thank You

My Dear Father,

How are you doing?
Greatly of course and I should know that.
You are the Beginning, the End and Everything inbetween.
You are God!

I haven't done this in a long time. That is spoken to You like this.
Back in school, I had those notebooks filled with letters to You. Do you remember? Of course you do. You know all things.
It's been a long time since then and lots of water under the bridge but I am here now. Back to where it all began.
And It was always You.
Always.

I don't care about the tears because in it you gave me the strength to laugh
I don't care about the hurt because you taught me that love is a gift
I am no longer afraid of the storm now I understand inner resilience has a smile
Nor the weakness since I learnt to believe even when I can't yet see
Yes! It's been a long walk but I made it through
Thank You
Thats all this is about, I am simply grateful for today
Not because I have always been good
But because You are Who You are!